I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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