Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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