the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
