You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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