no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
