Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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