instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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