As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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