Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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