You can't special order awesome
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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