This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
