so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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