Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
