Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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