I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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