Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.