Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.

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(514): I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later. http://tfl.nu/cmn8

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(510): View more from California

my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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(510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic http://tfl.nu/11wq

Replies (6) Good night (1111) Bad night (2395)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

(734): View more from Michigan

Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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(734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44

Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (1892)
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(847): View more from Illinois

My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

How unfortunate for your Mom.

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(847): My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein. (1-847): How unfortunate for your Mom. http://tfl.nu/e7p2

Replies (33) Good night (820) Bad night (3828)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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(918): eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet http://tfl.nu/8959

Replies (7) Good night (666) Bad night (4106)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

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(732): i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is. http://tfl.nu/s7zh

Replies (16) Good night (5024) Bad night (1720)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?

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(260): Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on? http://tfl.nu/ottv

Replies (5) Good night (4060) Bad night (1202)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently

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(919): Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently http://tfl.nu/zenu

Replies (21) Good night (4173) Bad night (1031)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.

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(610): I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse. http://tfl.nu/qk0b

Replies (32) Good night (1763) Bad night (16144)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

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(563): I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/sbgi

Replies (3) Good night (2539) Bad night (990)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.

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(812): I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ijx1

Replies (21) Good night (2296) Bad night (1207)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.

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(303): You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack. http://tfl.nu/ud5l

Replies (4) Good night (703) Bad night (1048)
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(917): View more from New York City

Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.

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(917): Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life. http://tfl.nu/kv1x

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(727): View more from Florida

Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.

(813): View more from Florida

Where were you?

(727): View more from Florida

Laughing

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(727): Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target. (813): Where were you? (727): Laughing http://tfl.nu/hzb0

Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (210)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober

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(702): Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober http://tfl.nu/z8k7

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