Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.

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  (913): This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed. http://tfl.nu/p27o
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (2603)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.

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  (715): went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower. http://tfl.nu/u1zb
  Replies (22) Good night (7977) Bad night (1310)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.

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  (850): my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster. http://tfl.nu/974x
  Replies (14) Good night (7820) Bad night (1468)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...

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  (503): I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here... http://tfl.nu/qb9a
  Replies (6) Good night (4338) Bad night (871)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.

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  (973): i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me. http://tfl.nu/dox4
  Replies (8) Good night (3288) Bad night (876)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.

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  (816): I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen. http://tfl.nu/atwf
  Replies (10) Good night (3091) Bad night (1046)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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  (+44): Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman. http://tfl.nu/smcd
  Replies (2) Good night (2960) Bad night (752)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night

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  (859): i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night http://tfl.nu/g2hp
  Replies (16) Good night (1090) Bad night (3651)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.

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  (270): you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you. http://tfl.nu/d78n
  Replies (8) Good night (2496) Bad night (784)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.

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  (517): btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener. http://tfl.nu/k1i6
  Replies (5) Good night (1913) Bad night (698)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.

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  (586): We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate. http://tfl.nu/plc2
  Replies (2) Good night (1803) Bad night (691)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just took the cheapest shot in your honor

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  (304): I just took the cheapest shot in your honor http://tfl.nu/u3ke
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (387)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain

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  (787): She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain http://tfl.nu/0oj5
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (518)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor

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  (705): Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/ic3x
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (891)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.

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  (603): 'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES. http://tfl.nu/23ze
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (229)

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