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• (712): View more from Iowa

  The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"

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• (845): View more from New York

  This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.

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• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (760): View more from California

  Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.

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• (650): View more from California

  I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.

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