know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just gargled with NyQuil
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..