I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol