OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Damn victory sex feels great
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
