Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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