They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
