Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
