And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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