around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
