oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
