Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
