How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
