Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
