it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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