Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
