Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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