Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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