You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
