i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
