Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
