No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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