she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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