i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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