my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize