My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
