sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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