I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
