There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
