um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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