just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize