You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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