never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
