he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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