i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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