Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
two words...techno handjob
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
