People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
