I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
