I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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