i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
