Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
